An Ultimate Guide to Wedding Planning.
I have been photographing weddings for almost 12 years, in that time I’ve learned a thing or two about weddings and this means I have plenty of advice to give if you’re planning yours. For example I can tell you that if you wear veil your guests will constantly yank your head back when they put their arms around to hug you, so prepare yourselves! And if your wedding dress has a mesh overlay, flies will somehow find their way in - they love the stuff! But the advice I’ve given in this blog goes deeper than these things, it’s practical, personal and from the heart. I’m sure I have more advice that I could give so if I think of anything else I will add to it here and hopefully this blog will be a helpful guide for anyone who needs it.
Only invite people you love.
The guest list can get out of control really quickly. You plan to have everyone you love there and then before you know it the list doubles due to plus ones and people you’ve never even met. It can set your wedding budget off course when you add all those extra people and it can sometimes mean that you have to compromise on the wedding you want. For example, you might have your heart set on marrying in a little chapel but due to the amount of people at your wedding you have to have the ceremony somewhere else. It’s easier said than done but be selfish - this is your day, your budget. People will still appreciate an invite to the evening, when capacity and cost isn’t as much of a factor for you.
Don’t do anything you don’t want to do.
Weddings are full of traditions - bridesmaids, best men, walking down the aisle, speeches, cutting the cake, a first dance. But you don’t have to do any of it, if you don’t want to. I’ve done a wedding where the couple didn’t walk down the aisle, they just walked into the ceremony room when all their guests went in - no-one minded. You don’t need to have bridesmaids or best men, and weddings are just fine without speeches or a photo of you cutting the cake. Only do the things that you both want to do. Who says your first dance song has to be romantic? Shaunna and Cody’s first dance was a rave with glow sticks and it was AMAZING!
Have the wedding all at one venue.
Consider having the whole wedding at one venue if you can. This means both getting ready in the same venue (different rooms if you want to be traditional) and having the ceremony and reception there too. One location means you have one less thing to think about - transport for you and your guests. When you’re travelling from A to B during a wedding, there are a lot of things that can go wrong - you could all be held up in traffic for example. So by keeping everything in the same place you’re avoiding those potential problems from impacting your wedding.
Another thing to think about is that if your photographer is travelling between a morning prep location to a ceremony location, and then again from the ceremony to reception location, that travelling is coming out of the coverage you’ve booked for. This means that if a couple book a photographer for seven hours coverage but they have their wedding spread across three different places, they could end up with only six hours of photography if their photographer is spending an hour of it in the car.
Wear season appropriate clothes!
You can never be sure what the weather will do but you can have a fairly decent idea what to expect temperature-wise. If you’re marrying in winter it’s likely to be much colder than summer, so tweed suits might be a good idea to keep you warm (just like these from Cara & Scott’s winter wedding at The Horn Of Plenty). Wedding dresses can often have so much material on them making them very heavy and warm, so if you’re marrying in the summer it might be worth finding a dress with a little less material, something breathable. I’ve seen so many uncomfortable brides and grooms due to them being too hot or too cold. I remember a groom that was overheating because he felt like he had to wear his jacket throughout the day. Take your jacket off if you need to! Wrap up warm if you’re cold! If there are coats or umbrellas in your photos or you’re not wearing your jacket during the speeches - it’s telling the story of your day.
Wear comfy shoes!
Weddings can be long days and you’ll spend a lot of it on your feet. I’ve seen so many brides desperately pulling their shoes off as soon as the wedding breakfast begins and then they’ve continued for the rest of the day with something comfy on. But here’s the thing, no-one sees your shoes if you’ve got a long dress on, so what are you enduring that pain for? I might take a photo of your shoes before they go on or as you’re putting them on, but then it’s unlikely I’ll see them again for the rest of the day because most wedding dresses completely hide your feet. And if your feet do occasionally poke out, so what? There are plenty of ways you can customise a pair of trainers to make them feel more like wedding shoes, just like Abby did for her BoHo Cornwall elopement. Your shoes don’t even have to be white, if white’s not your thing. You may be able to spot Sasha’s big comfy boots under their dress, check out Sasha & Holly’s Halloween themed wedding for more alternative wedding inspiration.
Don’t worry about getting your dress dirty or being windswept.
The chances of you not getting a single stain on your wedding dress are very slim, even if you’re really careful. So why stress about the inevitable? Accept it and embrace it. Every stain will tell a story from your day. What will you do with your dress afterwards anyway? If you’re planning to keep hold of it for the memories then stains will only help you to remember your day even better. If you’re planning on selling it or donating it you will probably need to get it dry cleaned anyway - so don’t sweat the small stuff. I’ve known some brides that didn’t want to go outside because they were worried about their hair being blown around a bit. But it isn’t too much trouble to secure a few loose strands of hair back in your hair grips. Try not to let things hold you back from having a good day and enjoying yourself.
Consider having a first look, if you think it will help with your nerves.
If you’re feeling a little nervous about the ceremony a first look could be just what you need to help with that. Another advantage of having a first look is that your photographer can set the shot up to capture both of your reactions at the same time, which is something that isn’t often possible during the ceremony.
Consider having an unplugged ceremony.
I don’t mind guests taking photos at your wedding, in fact I quite like taking photos of your guests paparazziing you. But there are some parts of the day that can be spoiled by having people holding their phones. Phones and cameras out during a ceremony can be quite distracting and they can get in the way of your professional photographer sometimes too. So if you want to let your guests know that you’re having an unplugged ceremony, simply ask whoever is conducting the ceremony to tell your guests this before it starts. Or if your budget allows, you could get a little sign to put up at the entrance to let people know.
If you’re having a religious ceremony, check in advance if photos and/or video is allowed.
If you’re having a religious ceremony you will need to check if photos and/or video is okay with whoever is conducting your ceremony. Some churches will charge you a fee to have your ceremony videoed, so this is something you may need to factor into your budget. I have photographed church ceremonies where I have been told I need to stay at the back of the church for the whole ceremony and when this happens it does really limit what I can do for you. I’ve also been told not to take any photos at all. The rules vary from church to church, depending on the preferences of the vicar or priest. Don’t just assume your church leader will be ‘chilled out’ about photos, ALWAYS check so that you can manage your expectations about what your photographer and/or videographer can do for you.
Consider doing the legal bit on another day.
Unfortunately you can’t get legally married anywhere you want to, but don’t let that stop you having the wedding of your dreams. You can always do the legal bit another day. You may also be hoping to have an alternative and symbolic ceremony ritual such as handfasting, lighting a unity candle or a celebratory popping of the champagne. When you do the legal bit separately there’s really no limits to what you can do or where you do it. There are lots of incredible qualified celebrants who will tailor your ceremony to you and make it personalised and meaningful. But you could also ask someone important to you if they’ll conduct the ceremony for you, which can bring an extra personal touch to your day.
Book an Engagement photo shoot.
There are so many advantages to booking a pre wedding photo shoot with your wedding photographer.
It gives you the opportunity to get to know your wedding photographer and get comfortable being photographed by them.
If you’re camera shy it really helps to make you feel more confident. Better to get over that hurdle before the wedding rather than dealing with that anxiety on top of your wedding day nerves.
It gives you some casual clothed, beautiful photos of the two of you, which you can use in your wedding as décor.
If you can’t have your dog at your wedding, bringing them along to the pre shoot is a great way of involving them in the wedding.
You can have the pre shoot pretty much anywhere - a beach, woodland, fairground - whatever floats your boat. But you can’t always get to a beach, woodland or fairground on your wedding day. So it’s a good way of bringing something else to your photos that your venue wouldn’t normally be able to offer.
Plan any group photos that you want with your photographer before the wedding.
Not every photographer will work in the same way, but I am a strong believer that you should plan the group photo list with your photographer before the wedding day. I’ve been to weddings before where there was no group photo list and the couple had to try and decide what group photos they wanted on the spot. It slowed things down and I also noticed that other people chipped in with suggestions. This meant it wasn’t really a list of shots the couple wanted and turned into a long never-ending photo shoot of what everyone else wanted. I also feel like when you’re under pressure trying to think about what you want on the spot, something important will unintentionally be forgotten. And you won’t really think of it until you see your photos and notice that you never had that photo with X, Y or Z. There’s often only a half an hour window for group photos, so make sure you’re using the time well and getting what you really want from it. Planning your group photo list in advance means you’re giving yourself enough time to think about what you want and you’re less likely to miss something important out.
I can’t speak for other photographers, but I help my clients with the group photo list, advising them on how many photos they’ll be able to fit into the timeframe they have and I’ll think about whether they’ll have the space and light needed for the photos they want. Then I will reorder the group photo list so that it flows well and efficiently.
Make time for the photos you know you’ll want.
Your photographer should always try to work as efficiently as possible because your wedding day shouldn't feel like one long photo shoot. But you don't get those photos you've been dreaming of without giving some time to your photographer. This means standing there for all of the group photos you've said you'd like, being away from your guests while you have romantic photos around your venue grounds, and then potentially heading back outside for some golden hour photos or creative back lit evening photos. So whatever it is your hoping for from your photographer, allow time for it.
If you’re after candid/documentary photos then allow opportunity for that!
I’ll give you some examples of what I mean here…
If you’re just going to book your photographer for 3 hours, this won’t leave much time for your photographer to capture natural moments. Let’s say for example, your photographer starts just before the ceremony. Now this is the most formal part of the day of course. Then after the ceremony, you’ve got a long list of group photos you want done - again this is very formal. And after that, your photographer will need to get some portraits of just the two of you alone around your venue. And before you know it, those 3 hours you’ve booked with your photographer are pretty much up. And your wedding photos will be more traditional/classical in style just because you haven’t given your photographer the time and opportunity to take those ‘real moment’ photos for you.
But it can sometimes be difficult for a photographer to work in a documentary way even when they’re there for the full day. If you give your photographer a long list of specific shots you want done throughout the day it will result in natural moments being missed. I once had a Bride say to me that she wanted the day captured as naturally as possible but then before the wedding I received a list from her which had things on it like, ‘eldest daughter helping Groom with tie, youngest daughter helping groom with pocket square, Groom looking out of window when ready in morning’. And these are just a few examples from a very long list! None of those photos felt natural at all, they were orchestrated and at times the wedding felt like a photoshoot. But if that’s your style and that’s what you want then there’s nothing wrong with having your wedding captured that way. Just be sure you’re booking the right photographer for what you want, eg a traditional/classical photographer, a documentary/reportage photographer or an editorial/fine art photographer. If you want to learn more about these genres of wedding photography then have a read about that here.
If it doesn’t matter to you, forget it.
Tradition tells us that a wedding has to have a wedding dress, high heel shoes, flowers, a wedding cake, wedding favours, decorations, a table plan, the list goes on and on. But here’s the thing, you don’t have to have any of it if you don’t want it. Don’t feel pressured into spending money on things that aren’t important to you and don’t waste time on things like a seating plan, if you really don’t care where people sit. If it’s not fun for you or it doesn’t excite you, leave it.
Don’t rely on the weather, always have a plan B in place.
When people think of bad weather, it’s usually rain that comes to mind. But strong wind and bright sunshine can be just as troublesome. You can pick and plan every element about your wedding, but the weather is always pot luck. I’ve photographed a warm and bright wedding in February, snow in March, and wash out weddings in August. So if you’re planning to have any part of your wedding outdoors (even if it’s just group photos) you should always have a plan B in place. The backup plan may not be what you dreamt of but try and come to terms with that reality before your wedding day - be prepared for it. If you can pick a venue that looks just as beautiful indoors as it does outdoors and has space for group photos if needed, you’ll be onto a winner. Emily and Liam knew their venue (The Green) would be perfect for them rain or shine.
Think about daylight!
Find out what time the sun is due to set on your wedding day (you can Google this years in advance for a rough estimate) and remember that the light will really start to drop around half an hour before sunset. So if you’re having a winter wedding, you might start losing light from around 3pm ish. Book your ceremony to start as early as you can to get the best out of the winter daylight!
And Spring/summer weddings sometimes have daylight until 9:30pm. So if you’re wanting sparklers in the dark, this might not be able to happen until after 10pm. Have you booked your photographer to stay past 10pm? Will your guests be a little too intoxicated to wave sparklers around at that time? If your DJ is starting at 7pm, will people want to be indoors dancing when it’s still so bright (and potentially warm) outside? These are just a few things to think about regarding daylight but there could be more to consider, so take a look at your timeline and have a think about what daylight you’re likely to have and when.
Sunshine vs Shade
If you’ve picked your wedding venue because you love the look of the front of the building or you love the view it offers, you may have your heart set on having all of your group photos in a place that showcases that specific backdrop. But if the sun is beating down strongly, you may want to reconsider. Direct sunlight is horrible to photograph in. It’s harsh on your face and it will cast dark shadows around your eyes and under your nose. It can be incredibly unflattering and you may also find that you’re struggling to keep your eyes open and you end up squinting and grimacing. I’ve experienced it too many times, where the couple force their guests to stand in scorching heat for group photos - not moving into the shade because they can’t have the beautiful view behind them if they stand in the shade. But group photos are about the people in them aren’t they? Not the background. So isn’t it worth having flattering photos of the people you love, rather than squinty, sweaty photos with unflattering dark shadows across everyone’s faces? Shaunna & Cody took my advice and had their group photos under the shade of a tree, because if they’d have stood in front of their venue (St Elizabeth’s House) they’d have been in the sun.
If you’re having confetti - get lots!
Around 15+ years ago, couple’s didn’t really need to think about supplying confetti for their guests because it was customary for guests to bring confetti along to the wedding themselves. But this has all changed and I’m here to tell you that if you don’t get hold of some confetti yourselves, you won’t have a confetti photo - don’t rely on your wedding guests to bring any. Another thing you should know is that most venues won’t allow you to use any confetti that isn’t biodegradable, so make sure you’re getting hold of the right stuff. And while I’m on the topic of venues, some venues also have specific rules on where you’re allowed to throw the confetti, so check this with them first. The best way to have a really impactful confetti photo is to have a lot of confetti and it also helps if it’s a different colour to whatever background you’ll have. If you have white confetti and you happen to have an overcast sky, you’re not really going to see that confetti showing up in the sky. If you have a red brick background and you’ve got dark red rose petals, you’ll have the same issue. So think of this when choosing the colour of your confetti.
Give yourself time to research the never-ending list of suppliers.
Whatever kind of wedding you’re thinking of having, give yourself time to plan it and save for it. Many suppliers will be booked up years in advance, so the longer you can give yourself the better chance you’ll have of booking the suppliers you really want. It can be so overwhelming speaking to so many different suppliers at once and your inbox will be very busy while you’re making your enquiries. Prepare for this mentally and you could even plan to book one supplier per month, to make those emails a bit more manageable for you.
Book suppliers that excite you and don’t be afraid to ask them for advice.
If you don’t feel excited about having a certain supplier at your wedding then why would you book them? This circles back to my pervious tip about not doing anything you don’t want to do - if you don’t like cake, don’t hire a cake maker. Every supplier you book should be someone who’s work you love and someone you feel will make your day all the more better for being a part of it. And your suppliers are the perfect people to ask for advice on things, don’t be afraid to get in touch with them if you need some guidance.
Get to know the suppliers that will be spending most of the day with you.
Here’s a picture of me and an awesome bride called Abigail. Abi and her husband Matt had a pre shoot with me before the wedding which was a brilliant way of getting to know each other. We also had really good email communication on the lead up to the wedding and followed each other on Facebook. By the time the wedding day came along, it felt like we were new friends. Some of your wedding suppliers won’t spend much time with you on the wedding day but your wedding photographer (and videographer if you’re having one) will spend the whole day with you and so it’s important that you like them and feel comfortable with them.
”We had a pre-shoot which was perfect for not only being more comfortable in front of the camera, but also allowed us to get to know Leah so she wasn’t a stranger on the day. Leading up to the wedding she was so organised and made sure she knew exactly what we wanted and it showed with how well everything flowed on the day! She fit right in with all our guests was funny, laid back and very polite. We couldn’t imagine anyone else being our photographer.” - Abi & Matt
Communicate what you want to your wedding suppliers.
The more you tell your suppliers about yourself and what is important to you, the better. It allows your suppliers to tailor their approach to you and give you the five star service you deserve. This cocktail bar designed the cocktails with the couple and I believe they named some of the drinks after the couple’s cats which was a lovely personal touch. Looking at it from a photographer’s perspective, I really appreciate it when couple’s open up and tell me what’s important to them. There would be nothing worse than getting an email after I’ve delivered all of the photos, asking why there’s not a photo of X and Y together for example. So if you have a must have photo, make it known before the wedding and avoid any disappointment. I should point out here that your photographer doesn’t need to be told to get a photo of you walking down the aisle or having a first dance - we’ll naturally capture those moments for you anyway. I’m referring to photos that we wouldn’t know are important to you, unless you specifically tell us.
Include Games and/or entertainment in your wedding.
Most wedding days have the odd moment where not a lot is happening. Guests will be stood or sat around talking, waiting for the next big moment to happen and your photographer’s won’t have much to capture. Your photographer will be eagerly waiting for someone to smile or laugh so they can capture a nice candid photo but if the conversations your guests have don’t generate many smiles or laughs then it’s just not a nice photo. Something as simple as putting some games out will elevate your wedding and give your photographer something fun and visually interesting to document. Games and entertainment will often be a talking point and they’ll get your guests mingling with each other too. If you’re looking for some ideas then check out my awesome blog, ‘Ways to Entertain Your Wedding Guests’ which has over 75 wedding entertainment ideas!
Use the things you’ve booked and eat the food you’ve paid for.
You’ve spent a lot on this wedding so make sure you enjoy it too! Play the games, dance to the music, eat the cake. Your wedding guests will love to see you happy and joining in with everything.
Allow extra time for things, being ahead of schedule is better than being behind.
It doesn't take much for things to run overtime. This could be due to a bit of unexpected traffic between two venues, a misplaced bouquet or family members disappearing off to the loo when you need them for group photos. So always allow extra time for everything and if you end up not needing the extra time that's fine, you can focus on enjoying your day. If you're not sure how long you should be leaving for certain parts of your day, ask your photographer. I have a guide to wedding timelines on my blog that you might be interested in reading after this?
Get the music right.
If you’re into music, it’s important that you stay true to yourself and fill your wedding play list with songs you love but this is sometimes easier said than done. For example, me and my other half love heavy metal music and so we would feel happiest playing that at our wedding day. However we know that the majority of people at our wedding would not enjoy heavy metal and they’d probably leave the wedding early, which we wouldn’t want. So as a compromise we will play pop punk and soft rock at our wedding day - something that still feels like us but will also please our guests.
Manage your expectations!
This photo is a great example of what I mean. The Bride and Groom’s son didn’t fancy walking down the aisle with his uncle - he fancied having a bit of a cry instead. Please don’t let it run your day if you don’t get that perfect photo of the kids walking down the aisle. You can plan your wedding to perfection but you can’t plan people’s actions or the weather. Let your day be what it is and embrace it. I really recommend that you don’t get your heart set on any particular photo. For example, it can be heart-breaking if you’ve been picturing having your wedding outdoors and then the weather completely derails those plans. So try to manage your expectations. Allow yourself to get excited for the plan B indoor option and if the weather does play ball, it'll be a bonus!
